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May
20

Anxiety Self Help: How to Beat Anxiety

A lot of people suffer from anxiety disorders. Surveys say that in America, about 18.1% of individuals aged 18 and above which is roughly 40 million Americans suffer from this problem (Source: National Institute of Mental Health). If you are one of these individuals that suffer from this chronic disorder, don’t feel bad just yet. There are a lot of things that you can do in order to overcome your anxiety disorder. The following are tried and tested tips that you can do yourself. These tips usually require a lot of focus and determination so be sure to always keep focused and determined at all times. There are some people that start enthusiastic and then give up after some time.

Focus about the good things happening in your life.

Think about all the good things that are happening around you. Concentrate on all things positive and forget about all negative stuff in your life. This way, you will be able to disregard things that cause your anxiety because you are focusing more on the good side of life.

Engage on activities that occupy your mind.

If you are idle, chances are you’ll be thinking about negative things which might trigger anxiety attacks. Engaging in activities that occupy your mind such as sports will lessen your idle time and also lessen chances of anxiety attacks.

Listen to relaxing music

Listening to music that relaxes and soothes you will help cure your anxiety disorder. Classical music in particular is known to relax a person. Much like engaging to activities, music occupies your mind and lessens the time you think of negative things.

Talk with friends more

Try to talk to your friends about issues and things that happened today. Talking to someone you trust relieves emotional and mental stress and thus relieves you of thoughts that may trigger anxiety attacks.

Lessen caffeine intake

Drinks such as coffee, soft drinks, and tea have high amounts of caffeine. Caffeine is very much known to induce nervousness and anxiety. You should lower your intake of these substances to reduce chances of an anxiety attack. Of course you can always go for decaffeinated drinks.

Try to avoid stressful activities

Research shows that stress triggers anxiety attacks. So if you are able to manage and avoid dealing with stressful events and activities, you will be able to lessen the risks of a possible anxiety attack. Try to manage your life and keep away from things that will cause you stress.

Think positive

Always think positive and never think otherwise. Always think of the bright side of life and that something good will happen. That way, you will be able to cut down and lessen the negative images in your mind. This may seem to be hard to do at first especially now that you are suffering from anxiety problems. Try to remind yourself of always thinking positive by wearing a necklace or tying a ribbon around your arm or wearing something that will remind you to always think positive. Thinking positively also gives you a positive outlook at life.

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May
20

Relationship Self-Help – How to Use It to Save Your Relationship

If you are like most people, you won’t want to air your ‘dirty laundry’ where other people can see or hear. For many couples this means their idea of relationship self-help doesn’t include a relationship counselor. So where do you turn, when getting relationship help is something you need and you don’t want to see a therapist? One place you can look when you have relationship problems is on the internet, oddly enough.

At the end of the day, it will be up to the two of you to make your relationship work and you can do this easily enough with the range of resources and great relationship books available online. You can check out forums based on questions about relationship issues if you are not sure where to begin your self-help journey. You can read about the recommendations about great self-help resources and advice from the people who visit these forums.

Sometimes you come across a great tip which works really well for you, but do be careful about the level of expertise of the people giving advice. I would have greater faith in books written by qualified authors as a general rule, but that’s just me.

Getting started right away is the best way to begin, so here are a few tips to get you pointed in the right direction:

Tip 1 -

Please don’t be offended if I ask you a delicate question, or two – are you sure that your partner wants the same things you do from this relationship? Are they the right one for you if you are looking for a long-term relationship? Are they ready to ‘settle down’ if that is what you want right now?

Many relationship troubles start because only one of you actually wants more from the relationship, or is actively trying to make it work. Unfortunately, when one person is doing all the work and the other isn’t doing anything, it makes it very hard going.

Once that person gets tired of it and stops, the relationship just dries up and blows away.

If your relationship is like this, you know it is going to be hard work, if it is not impossible to revive your relationship. Maybe it is better in cases like this to call it quits and move on.

Tip 2 -

If you have decided that your relationship is definitely worth saving and your partner is at least willing to give it a try with you, then you can go onto to the next step. This is all about the two of you getting together in a relaxed environment, sitting down and working out what the issues are. You will need to be honest here, as much with yourself as with your partner, and commit to working on the issues at hand. You will need to be careful to focus on the problems and not to hurl blame at each other. You must find a better way responding to each other on a daily basis.

Tip 3 -

Be aware that healing your relationship will take time and effort. It will not be fixed over-night as much as you both want it to be, but you can start by being more loving and kinder with each other from now on. So, don’t give up. It will work, but it might take longer than you think before you start to see some positive changes.

The basics of relationship self-help mean that you are both willing to identify the issues and are committed to working together to find solutions that benefit you both. Changing habits takes time, so be patient with yourself and each other.

If you need further help, or just need some guidelines on how to proceed, get some good relationship books.

Sometimes you don’t know where to start because you lack understanding about how relationships work and what makes people tick. This is when getting some relationship self-help books and resources are absolutely ideal – you can work on it in your own time, and privately, and these resources can give both of you great topics to explore together and talk about.

Your relationship self-help begins with your partner and you. By talking together and being honest with each other about your relationship, you can discover what your problems are and find the right solutions for both of you.

By taking that first step in recognizing you need help and getting it, you will ensure that you are doing everything within your power to create the relationship that you desire, and that both of you deserve!

Click through for some great self-help books and resources – http://www.whatcanidotosavemymarriage.com/how-to-fix-relationship-problems

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May
20

Self Help – How Not to Burn Yourself Out

There are times whether we are trying to improver ourselves, start a new career or learn a new topic when we get really excited. Sometimes this feeling is intertwined with anxiety as we do not want to fail. Even though humans in general are lazy creatures, the initial jolt of energy due to a fresh idea sometimes gives us enough of a push so that we run and not walk towards the finish line. This is where a lot of people make the mistake of not pacing themselves and burn out before even seeing effects of their work.

I have witnessed this a lot in myself and many people around me as the stamina that we possess is often less than we would like to admit. Numerous times I have gotten overwhelmed with information when starting a new project which caused for me to freeze and not take much action. Other times I made such a schedule for myself that was impossible to handle since I wasn’t used to doing all of the tasks and I gave up on whatever I wanted to accomplish. This is very hard since we all want success and it is hard to be patient and let the long term benefits really outweigh the short ones.

This is very common in weekend warriors as well, as they feel great and after going nuts for a day or two cannot move or become injured. This then takes them even farther away from their original goals of becoming fitter an healthier. Instead of taking the next step now they have to take a few back just to get to the place that they began in. This is the main reason why I do not recommend to get in over your head too much and stay there for too long, as even though you accomplish the task it will not move your forward as far as you would think.

Whenever starting a new project think about what you already know how to do and which steps will be new to you. After you realize how much you have to learn do not get overwhelmed and feel good about how much new things you will learn due to this new undertaking. Start slowly and build up momentum, if you are expecting to write ten articles a day then maybe start with only two or three. If you go up to around eight a day and feel it is too much than take a day or two off or reduce the workload and get back to it right after. There is a difference between being lazy and staying balanced and you already know which your are doing.

If you are currently experiencing acid reflux symptoms the only way to know for sure is by education. Before you can regain control of your life look at these common gerd symptoms.

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May
20

Mental Self Help – How You Can Learn a Lesson From Fear

Fear is a powerful, primeval emotion that drives so many of your decisions. Fear is a mechanism for the ego to protect itself from change. Fear can keep you locked in a zone that is not of your choosing. Using a simple technique, you can face your fears and learn how to free yourself to make the changes you want in your life.

Fear has performed a vital function for human beings and even higher animals – the function of self preservation. It is a tremendous source of emotional energy that provides us with the power to avoid danger of physical harm.

We have become extremely sophisticated psychological beings over the millennia but we still retain the fear mechanism as one of our fundamental motivators. We now fear not only physical danger but also psychological dangers. You now experience fear of many things: failure, rejection, being inconvenienced by something, losing some part of your life you have become accustomed to.

You also experience fear of being discovered to be inadequate at something, or losing the rationale behind some part of your life. Many of these fears are not real, they are purely based on your perception of what is real.

Yet these fears can trap you. Fear is one of the most powerful motivators in your emotional vocabulary and it can overrule almost every other desire.

What can we learn from fear?

Many of your fears are not real, they are not going to cause you any harm, yet the mind power generated by fear makes them seem very real – sometimes even more real than the physical evidence in front of your eyes!

As you examine these fears more closely, you will see that this fear is really a fear of having to make changes to aspects of yourself. These fears are doing for your ego what the fear of physical harm is doing for you body.

Your fears are borne out of past conditioning and they are fuelled by memories of past events. Often it is the subconscious mind that is generating the fear response and you are not aware that it is happening. The first you consciously know about it is when you suddenly feel overwhelmed by fear.

By examining your fears, rather than just letting them automatically drive your responses you can understand what change it is you are resisting and get some insight into why you are resisting it. Change is an essential part of your future growth and development, and by understanding your fears you use mind power to free yourself for personal growth and success.

How can I learn from my fears?

Fear leads to a number of different response mechanisms that can be summed up as either fight or flight. You might lash out at someone or something either verbally or sometimes physically when you experience fear. Or you might try to avoid the stimulus by withdrawing, becoming depressed, ignoring what’s going on. A third mechanism is to distract yourself – watch excessive TV, substance abuse…

The first step in learning from fear is to be aware when you are feeling fear by looking for responses that could be caused by fear. The next time you feel you are about take some reflexive action that is motivated by fear, instead of just letting it happen, pause and ask yourself “What am I afraid of here?”

This won’t be easy at first, but if you persist you will be able to identify the source of your fear and learn from it.

Fear is a powerful emotion that drives you to do many things that you don’t want to. Often it is a way for the subconscious mind to protect your ego from change. This can prevent you making the changes you want in your life. You can use mind power to learn to recognise your fears and find out what is causing them. This is an important step in making it easier for you to achieve the life you want.

Find out more about Mental self help.

Download my latest e-book here Principles of Success. Visit my website for more resources, articles, and support materials about success and personal growth .

Kevin John has spent many years helping businesses owners, aspiring business owners, and private individuals to develop the understanding and skills needed to achieve the success that they want.

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May
20

Self-Help: How to Acquire and Apply It

The growth of the ‘self-help’ movement is almost without parallel in the last century, particularly in the Western World. The concept has gained common currency and has become a topic of everyday conversation, even heralded by some as an alternative to traditional sources of help such as medicine.

One of the main engines for its growth has been the massive progress that has occurred in the field of addiction. People who found themselves in the grip of addiction were faced with an urgent need for recovery, recovery that wasn’t available from either medicine or religion.

Early victims of addiction discovered that recovery was possible and the means to recovery had existed from time immemorial. What was needed was to adopt the existing principles from both medicine and religion and apply them to their particular dilemma.

What the early pioneers of self-help advocated was to recognise that their own personality and the way it manifested in their everyday lives was the key to their liberation. Or to use an oft quoted phrase, “the enemy was within”.

The principle that the problem comes from within the person themselves is the cornerstone of growth and development. Recognition and acceptance of this fundamental concept, leads to a profound change in a person’s thinking.

Self-Development and Self Growth are exactly what it says on the tin, the development and growth of what we understand to be ‘self’. Unconditionally accepting this will end the futile search for the causes of our discomfort, causes that we originally thought lay outside ourselves.

To access self-help you need to apply a critical standard, which is ‘self rigorous honesty’. This enables you to look at the real causes of your frustration and not waste your time fighting what you believed was the causes. The recognition that we are the creators of what we now experience as life is the origin of ‘The Law of Attraction’ and ‘The Secret’.

Self-help can only originate from the acceptance that to change my experiences of living, I must change ME. If you think about it, this attitude shift is the first step in self-development. It represents a movement from a closed to an open mind, and an open mind makes all things possible. An open mind sets the scene that enables things to happen that were formerly seen as impossible. As is often quoted, ‘all great achievements first started in the mind of man’.

Recognising that self-development is the key to personal progress leads to further awareness, namely that some form of help outside the self is required. This led to the growth of fellowship, ‘what can be achieved together is greater than the sum of what can be achieved individually’.

If you hang out with sober people, you will get sober, despite yourself. Equally if you hang out with successful people, you will become successful irrespective of your own abilities. You will in time, develop the habits of the other successful people.

Gerry Savage is the author of an ebook exploring and explaining why some people find success while others never do. He asserts that the difference lies within the person and his ebook and various articles show why this is so and what the individual can do about it. Accessing your potential is a learned behaviour and attitude and his ebook shows in a simple way how this can be achieved.

For completely FREE access to his life changing eBook go to => http://changing-me.com

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May
19

Mental Self Help – How to Help Yourself to Stop Sabotaging Yourself

Have you ever done something that you’ve immediately realised was unhelpful? Do you have habits that are bad for you? Do you feel you are your own worst enemy? Do you ask yourself “Why did I do that?” If you said yes to any of those questions, you are sabotaging yourself like so many people do. Find out more about self sabotage and how to overcome it.

I can remember when I couldn’t leave any food on my plate. My inner voice would keep nagging me until I finished everything that was put in front of me. When it was a reasonable sized meal, that was ok, but when it wasn’t I put on weight. It wasn’t until I made peace with this inner voice that I was able to control the amount of food I ate and ultimately my health.

Another area for self sabotage you may experience is in relationships. You may want to form good relationships with all sorts of people, but whenever you try to have a meaningful conversation you end up behaving inappropriately and feeling that you’ve let yourself down again.

There are many more ways you can sabotage yourself – just watch your behaviours and you will start to see them.

Why do people sabotage themselves?

One common reason is that they are driven by past conditioning. With my eating habit, my parents continually drummed into me that it was bad to leave food on my plate. Not a problem when I was younger, but I internalized that voice and it kept coming back to me when I was an adult.

Fear is also a big cause of self sabotage. You may be afraid that you are going to fail, you may even be thinking “I must not fail, I must not fail…” By focussing on failure, you ask your mind to help you achieve that failure. You may be afraid of what other people will think, you may even be afraid of success.

The fear of success is insidious – fearing the very thing you want makes it very hard to get there. But success can often mean change, leaving your comfort zone and for you that may be a terrifying prospect.

How to deal with your self sabotage

The first step is to become aware that you are sabotaging yourself. If necessary, spend a bit of time watching your behaviour, making a mental note of the times when you seem to do things that were dumb, crazy, senseless, or just unhelpful to what you were trying to achieve.

Now sit down with a piece of paper. Draw a vertical line down the middle. On the left hand side write down what it is you wanted to do. On the right hand side write down what you actually did that caused the self sabotage. Make sure you don’t make excuses or blame yourself or other people. Be objective and be honest. This is not a blame fest!

Now listen to your inner voice and write down why you did the thing that caused self sabotage. You may need to close your eyes and trust the first thought that pops into your head. Trying to force this consciously can be difficult.

Congratulations! You’ve made some great progress. Resist the temptation to beat yourself up about your self sabotage – it happened, it’s in the past and it needn’t happen.

Now that you are aware of your self sabotage and what’s causing it, the next time you find yourself in a situation where it’s likely to happen, watch your thoughts, be aware of the impulse to sabotage yourself, and let pass away before you act. You may not get this right first time, but over time you will find that your self sabotage falls away, leaving you free to get on with your life!

Find out more about Mental self help .

Download my latest e-book here Principles of Success. Visit my website for more resources, articles, and support materials about success and personal growth .

Kevin John has spent many years helping businesses owners, aspiring business owners, and private individuals to develop the understanding and skills needed to achieve the success that they want.

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